-POGO
if you want your life to be different, you've got to do something different.
get past our mental habits our fearful thoughts our perceptions.
when i started this blog, my thoughts were on impermanence. the celebration of movement and transformation. living with patience, breathing in its ability to add a dimension of peace to my life. embracing transition and flow as it opens your heart to the present moment, even if you don’t like it.
i've fallen a little. gotten a bit sideways. i can still see, but my view is obscured. running on empty the past few weeks, has left me out of balance, making it easy to fall. easy to fire off a post from lower ground. to be mindful of our emotions, we must stand back and watch them. recognize when we're in the ditch, stand up, dust yourself off and get back on the road. the road to getting unstuck is not a one-time endeavor. just as the moon waxes and wanes, our life experiences change and repeatedly challenge us to let go, shift our perceptions and bring in new ideas. a pulsing, flowing life is about letting go in hundreds of ways to let in something new.
our lives are filled with desires, expectations and outright demands on the world. lately i’ve heard myself thinking, thinking that the world must provide me with things…(a partner, an easy child, friends, a career, financial security and so forth) and when one of these demands isn’t happening, it’s easy to focus on it and let it empower me, leaving me feeling unhappy and discouraged.
my sweet seattlemamacita kindly pointed out, that yes, perhaps what i recently said about men is true. she then reminds me that what might also be true, is that i am not the woman i once was, and that in my recent escapades, single mother, though obvious, is in reality the less salient point. chemistry, what i seek (not who they are, or aren't, or what they are willing to give) is the real factor.
do we ever find what we are looking for? do we really even know what that is? would we recognize it if it landed right in front of us? is it fair to claim I know myself…do i?maybe...
maybe not.
after all, i’m on this journey, and with it comes with many unknowns, unforeseens, and unexpected learnings, all of which provide the opportunity to grow. something i welcome, crave. so if i’m still growing, learning, evolving wouldn’t it be fair to say many are? how much growth can a person have living on their own? i believe that much of our growth (albeit painful at times) happens in the company of another.
so perhaps it's not just the men, perhaps we all need a bit of chiseling here and there.
4 comments:
escribiendo suave as usual.
the questions of who? and why? and how much? whew... when i let myself run down these streets i always end up tripping and falling, and thankfully skinning my chin whilst suddenly noticing a beautiful stone clearly of igneous origin, which makes me wish i remembered more from geology class in school and that i pay more attention to everything around me ahora.
the wicked part is that you've talked your way back to hugging the sh*t out of impermenance, una linda linda cosa.
si es una linda cosa como dice Moliver..I think that is why blogging can be so good its in the rethinking and the community of dialogue that we can get somewhere or perhaps back where we started with a fresh pair of eyes
I am always astonished at your ability to self-reflect; to chisel yourself down to bones and then pick up the clay and mold yourself anew, piece by piece.
we always need to turn the analysis inward, don't we..it's so easy to keep pointing outward when at the end of the day it's up to us to find our own bliss.
(how much easier said than done)
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