namaste. until now i thought it was a simple greeting. a peaceful ending. a few days ago, a woman described it to me as a way of saying, i honor the spirit in you which is also in me. in other words i see you. i can't say why, but hearing that made my eyes burn. i was caught off guard by the sting of tears being held back. why did that just cut right through me?
i see the real, true, beautiful, unaltered, authentic you. the one underneath it all. that's the one i want to see, in others and in me. not just see, but accept. not just accept, but envelop, cherish, celebrate. this is the form of energy we need to love and nourish. yet, it can be hard to reach. both as an outsider and from within. words, thoughts and details of our day-to-day lives can grow like weeds around this inner self. getting to it can leave you with scrapes from the rough thicket you need to push through and work around. sometimes the effort doesn't seem worth it. easier just to plant new things, than cultivate the soil.
i mean after all, we've spent so much time landscaping the outermost limits of our soul, the one you can easily see. we build beautiful gates, decorate ourselves just so with things and details. we can craft quite a distraction. i for one spent many years being drawn to the glitter. so much so that i began to believe more in the glitter and less in the glow, that warmth only the soil beneath us can provide. glitter, so easy, so explicit. glow, well that requires trust from ourselves and those we choose to let in. 5 years ago, the glitter faded and the glow became critical to find, yet seemed mine had burnt out. i couldn't see the embers that remained. now my eyes are so accustomed to the dark that at times i turn away from that glow. safe place to be here in the dark. yet, safe isn't satisfying. i'd much prefer to warm up by that inner fire. throw the masks in and then sit around it and just watch the flames unfold. i want to dig my toes in the dirt and find your muddy hand in mine.
learning to know oneself, believe something to be true, right and good, can be lengthy, elusive, and deeply demanding. time to landscape. and get down to the soil. lets get off the track, in the mud.
3 comments:
quite possibly your best piece...so true for me too the challenge of moving from glitter to glowing finding that satisfactory space to just be.
Bgirl there is so much truth in this post I feel like I need to print it out and re-read it once in a while. You hit the nail on the head... and I love how you put it-- the glow and not the glitter.
thank you so much for exposing your "real, true, beautiful, unaltered, authentic you". i am so lucky and happy to have been re-connected to this glowing bgirl. you are helping me so much in re-connecting to my own glowing self. thank you so much for that!! is it not too much different than when we first knew each over 25 years ago?!? was it sometime after that that we started following the masses towards the glitter? ya know, i don't think most re-find that glow, though. it takes deep reflection and lots of insight into your soul to get it back. good on ya, bgirl, for getting muddy again and finding it.
namaste~
Post a Comment