shine on

normal is just a setting on the washing machine

words from a friend....ah so true, since i think my dial is set to CrAzY! yet really, are we so far gone? sideways perhaps, it happens. i believe we will spend our lives learning one another, learning the little dude.

many feelings are rushing through me, with a bit too much force. some make me blush in shame at all i'm not, all i wish i was...that me i dream me to be. some make my throat feel tight while tears slide at their own will down my face. i wonder what happened to my promise, the one i made so long ago to myself and to my future partner. about how i had hoped i'd be this free loving soul in spite of the years of tough learnings.

at times i want to scream...really SCREAM just to block it all out, the noise of life's demands, my insecurities, the unsettled feeling of wishes in limbo.

if i am quiet, really quiet, if i can find my balance to remain still, i can hear her, the me who made that promise, the one who can deliver it.

sometimes you just have to shine on a little longer...