i don't wanna think, i wanna feel...
how do i feel?
you got your wish...to disappear, step out of this. society, work, relationships, yourself. to see things from an entirely new perspective. this wisdom is now in your flesh. you'll be coming home with more than you had. will you be different? will i be different? will we be the same and different? perhaps better. though we were good. things are always moving, shifting, just like we should be. stretching, reaching, growing. and then there are those times when we are just still...
stillness is something i want to have more of. stillness to observe, be silent, feel, listen. not always processing, not always responding...just letting things float in me, though me, around me. still. different than stuck. been thinking i get stuck when there is too much movement. i can't figure out where the solid ground is so i freeze. pull in and away. or just the opposite, i'll move too quickly and disrupt the environment around me. knocking over what could've been steady. finding that balance, is something i need. i have been out of balance.
i'm running to be still. trying to do so much so the tasks will be done, energy clear so i can sit, breathe and do what i'd much rather be doing with this time. seems like i've got list upon list...progress is being made, visibly and internally, much inspiration. i read once that we prepare to prepare. thinking we need to be a certain way to make changes, do something new. while just the opposite is true. all we need to do is just show up. as we are, in this moment. no need to wait to change, wait to grow, wait to be new. it's actually more work not to stretch, grow. it can put you in a rut, affect your body, your mind, your heart.
so today i did just that. showed up. the hardest part was walking into the studio and rolling out my mat. from there, the rest just flowed. the heat was a welcome feeling from the cold temperatures we've been having the past month. it has been years since i've done something so exclusively for me and for so long...90 minutes (seriously 90 minutes of just me. no mama mama, no spreadsheets, pitches, clients, emails, no home projects, no dishes, laundry, telephone..nothing but me). i don't know that i can recall a time that i truly was able to breathe, exhale thoughts and inhale space. breathe loud to drown out your thoughts, listen only to your breath. typically i fill my *free* time with all i need to get done. one class and my priorities have changed. the zone i fell into still has me smiling. the soreness experienced the next morning...amazing. to feel the residual throughout my body reinforces the sense that i was out of balance. to have my entire body awakened...wow. the deeper awakening, bigger wow. chakras that have been so buried behind fear...now being opened. there is new wisdom in my flesh. thank you india.
how do i feel?
you got your wish...to disappear, step out of this. society, work, relationships, yourself. to see things from an entirely new perspective. this wisdom is now in your flesh. you'll be coming home with more than you had. will you be different? will i be different? will we be the same and different? perhaps better. though we were good. things are always moving, shifting, just like we should be. stretching, reaching, growing. and then there are those times when we are just still...
stillness is something i want to have more of. stillness to observe, be silent, feel, listen. not always processing, not always responding...just letting things float in me, though me, around me. still. different than stuck. been thinking i get stuck when there is too much movement. i can't figure out where the solid ground is so i freeze. pull in and away. or just the opposite, i'll move too quickly and disrupt the environment around me. knocking over what could've been steady. finding that balance, is something i need. i have been out of balance.
i'm running to be still. trying to do so much so the tasks will be done, energy clear so i can sit, breathe and do what i'd much rather be doing with this time. seems like i've got list upon list...progress is being made, visibly and internally, much inspiration. i read once that we prepare to prepare. thinking we need to be a certain way to make changes, do something new. while just the opposite is true. all we need to do is just show up. as we are, in this moment. no need to wait to change, wait to grow, wait to be new. it's actually more work not to stretch, grow. it can put you in a rut, affect your body, your mind, your heart.
so today i did just that. showed up. the hardest part was walking into the studio and rolling out my mat. from there, the rest just flowed. the heat was a welcome feeling from the cold temperatures we've been having the past month. it has been years since i've done something so exclusively for me and for so long...90 minutes (seriously 90 minutes of just me. no mama mama, no spreadsheets, pitches, clients, emails, no home projects, no dishes, laundry, telephone..nothing but me). i don't know that i can recall a time that i truly was able to breathe, exhale thoughts and inhale space. breathe loud to drown out your thoughts, listen only to your breath. typically i fill my *free* time with all i need to get done. one class and my priorities have changed. the zone i fell into still has me smiling. the soreness experienced the next morning...amazing. to feel the residual throughout my body reinforces the sense that i was out of balance. to have my entire body awakened...wow. the deeper awakening, bigger wow. chakras that have been so buried behind fear...now being opened. there is new wisdom in my flesh. thank you india.
2 comments:
i would love, love, love to sit with you and talk about all of this sometime. your wisdom. your grace.
Jen, get your butt up here to Seattle and we can all sip wine and chat!
Bgirl, I want to hear more about this class. Sounds like a little slice of heaven. 90 minutes to yourself. Wow. (I write as Sylvia screams about some offense done to her by Eleanor while they were building a couch fort... please don't make me get up and parent...)
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